DENIMandPATCHES

we sell DENIM and PATCHES

custom embroidered

Jesus is Chuck Norris in Disguise.

by

He would definitely kick your ass like no questions asked but hey this is Jesus were talking about. Like are you really sitting there like hey if I got a good uppercut in right after a kidney punch I feel like I could take him. But hey I’m not here to crush your hopes and dreams keep going to the gym and training to beat up Jesus/Chuck Norris in a boxing match. You got it. But back to business here I wanted to talk about the design of the patch real quick. Oh and also you should probably shoot for like a 5 sec mile and benching like 300 with your pinkie if your looking to take that match on.

But anyways like most of our patches here at Denim and Patches we kept the embroidered patch very simple in design but just enough color to still grab a person’s eye. The whole patch is outlined with a blue line creating a 3 inch circle exactly. With the hands of a king offering his crown to Jesus/Chuck Norris because he knows he would get his ass beat like a wittle babyyy. With the words written in red underneath said picture; “Jesus would whip your ass”. Keeping the layout of the patch very simple and not to busy on the patch. And with that I’d like to leave you with this bit of knowledge. Newton’s Third Law is wrong: Although it states that for each action, there is an equal and opposite reaction, there is no force equal in reaction to a Jesus/Chuck Norris roundhouse kick.

Jesus would whip your ass - Embroidered patches Denim and Patches

PEN 15

by

We were so happy to be able to make this patch for yall. It’s so simple yet one of the funniest things when someone is able to slip this in somewhere, so being an American timeless joke we had to make a patch to commemorate it. This phrase is scribbled I believe in every men’s restroom in America; wouldn’t say so much in the lady’s. Maybe? Anyways this can almost always bring a smile or chuckle out of someone so we made a white outline around the patch against a black background with “PEN15” written in white centered at the top. Then with masterful craftsmanship from keyboard text made a ejaculating penis made out of an 8 with equal signs and a D. And then we put a smiley face underneath it, motherfuckers.

Does it get any better? Oh it does when you order this patch drunk/high/tripping/rolling/whatever the fuck at 11 at night cause your waiting for the bathroom line on your phone. That next day as long as you party on a business night like a normal heathen(and the next day is a business day). One of our factory workers will come in and see your drunken order and start making it so we can get it to you as soon as possible. So that means your not getting some moldy old patch that’s just been sitting on the shelf letting the glue on the back go bad and not seal properly when you iron it (if that’s the way you choose to apply it). Oh yeah on that; you can sew it as well or just simply safety pin it on. The options are only limited by your imagination here at Denim and Patches.

PEN15 - Embroidered patches DENIMandPATCHES

God Grant Me the Serenity

by

God grant me the serenity

To accept the things I cannot change;

Courage to change the things I can;

And wisdom to know the difference.

Living one day at a time;

Enjoying one moment at a time;

Accepting hardships as the pathway to peace;

Taking, as He did, this sinful world

As it is, not as I would have it;

Trusting that He will make things right

If I surrender to His Will;

So that I may be reasonably happy in this life

And supremely happy with Him

Forever and ever in the next.

Amen.

We all have our own struggles to deal with and all choose to deal with things differently. One of the great ways people choose is through AA and any person who decides to do that should be proud of their selves. It takes phenomenal strength to get to the point your at in your life no matter where your at in the game of life. Don’t ever doubt yourself or the strength you have to deal with the things god is gonna throw at you or test you with. Because after every test and heartache your gonna be such a stronger version of yourself and have gained the wisdom of how to deal with it next time. Don’t ever forget the people you have around you to support you and if you don’t, then fuck the ones your with and find better people because what you keep around you doesn’t make you. Don’t ever think that, but it influences you and it can do it to you without you even noticing.

SAMHSA’s National Helpline is a free, confidential, 24/7, 365-day-a-year treatment referral and information service (in English and Spanish) for individuals and families facing mental and/or substance use disorders. 1-800-662-HELP (4357)

ONLY 1 PERCENTERS ALLOWED!!

by

Are you just better than everyone else? Do you need to let everyone know that your better than them and that you make a lot of money without even saying a word? Then your messing up if you don’t have a 1% patch in your repertoire. How do the commoners walking down the street know to clear the path for your holy 1% feet if your not wearing a patch to differentiate yourself? With you elevated position in life you need a elevated level of patch as well; in order to do that for you we make each embroidered patch custom and made-to-order. Meaning we don’t have 100’s of these sitting on a shelf waiting for you to order it getting moldy and having rats shit on it till you order and then dust it off and throw it in a bag. No no when you order your patch the next business day one of our factory workers will come in and see your order and start making it that day so that we can get it to you as fast as possible.

The design is super simple put omnipotent with a black circle outline and “1%” written in black centered in the circle. Making people be able to see it and lay out the red carpet for you. Also when you or your assistant orders one of these patches you can feel extra good about your 1% self cause the only waste from your patch being made is the tiny bit of glue squeeze out on the back of the patch for the iron on application. But if you don’t wanna have it ironed on you can have your tailor sow it on so that it wont go anywhere on ya. Or there is the old school option of safety pining it on so that you can easily move it or store it if necessary. The options are endless at Denim and Patches so go check out the store and see what you can find!

1% - Embroidered patches DENIMandPATCHES

LOOK AT DA LITTLE BABY!!

by

We’re proud to be able to come out with this one for everyone here. Not only can you rock some good ol navy denim when you go out to dinner but now so can your baby or little toddler. Your baby will look like a young version of Marty Mcfly or Shania Twain when their sporting on of these babies. Throw some shades on the little one and you’ll have the most fly looking kid at the party strutting around in their unisex denim jacket with some shades on. (we recommend no pants (for boys) cause all they need is the jacket and the shades) The jacket itself is made out of a durable 100% organic cotton with double stitching in order to stand up to the test of your little monster. And do not worry at all the little metal buttons keeping the 2 chest flaps and the jacket closed are made out of nickel-free material so it won’t irritate your little ones skin.

But let me take a second to talk about what kind of business we are. We’re not some big ol cookie cutter company making thousands of these patches and then running a marketing campaign. DENIMandPATCHES is a very small Veteran-Owned Business that cares about the individual, you and making sure that you have a sick patch to wear on shoulder or wherever you choose. And not just a sick patch we want to make sure you got a comfortable denim jacket made of 100% cotton that’ll stand the test of time. We also didn’t just do that for you we made sure the little one can also sport their own patches representing their own personality with each one. So what are you doing still reading this blog get on over to the store and check out what we have to offer!

DENIM and PATCHES - Baby Organic Jacket DENIMandPATCHES