DENIMandPATCHES

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Jesus is Chuck Norris in Disguise.

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He would definitely kick your ass like no questions asked but hey this is Jesus were talking about. Like are you really sitting there like hey if I got a good uppercut in right after a kidney punch I feel like I could take him. But hey I’m not here to crush your hopes and dreams keep going to the gym and training to beat up Jesus/Chuck Norris in a boxing match. You got it. But back to business here I wanted to talk about the design of the patch real quick. Oh and also you should probably shoot for like a 5 sec mile and benching like 300 with your pinkie if your looking to take that match on.

But anyways like most of our patches here at Denim and Patches we kept the embroidered patch very simple in design but just enough color to still grab a person’s eye. The whole patch is outlined with a blue line creating a 3 inch circle exactly. With the hands of a king offering his crown to Jesus/Chuck Norris because he knows he would get his ass beat like a wittle babyyy. With the words written in red underneath said picture; “Jesus would whip your ass”. Keeping the layout of the patch very simple and not to busy on the patch. And with that I’d like to leave you with this bit of knowledge. Newton’s Third Law is wrong: Although it states that for each action, there is an equal and opposite reaction, there is no force equal in reaction to a Jesus/Chuck Norris roundhouse kick.

Jesus would whip your ass - Embroidered patches Denim and Patches

Not Today Satan! Not todayyy!

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Need that extra pick me up? Or that little reminder to say hey don’t let the bullshit get in the way today just keep it pushin. Then we made just the embroidered patch for you With a white circle outline and a sun centered in that circle and then centered in the sun theres “Not Today Satan” written in red. If you’re ready to unleash your inner style maven, our jaw-dropping embroidered patch is here to take your outfit to the next level! Made from top-notch twill fabric that can handle the test of time, this patch is a total stormtrooper. Picture yourself rocking it on your favorite denim jacket or backpack – trust me, heads will turn and Satan will be exorcised! And the best part? You get to choose how to attach it: iron on, sew on, or safety pin – you’re the boss! Oh, and did I mention that this patch is made just for you? That’s right, we don’t waste any materials or energy on unnecessary stock. It’s all about sustainability, baby! So, what are you waiting for? Don’t let your outfit be dull any longer – order this patch now and get ready to slay the fashion game!

NOT TODAY SATAN - Embroidered patches DENIMandPATCHES

PEN 15

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We were so happy to be able to make this patch for yall. It’s so simple yet one of the funniest things when someone is able to slip this in somewhere, so being an American timeless joke we had to make a patch to commemorate it. This phrase is scribbled I believe in every men’s restroom in America; wouldn’t say so much in the lady’s. Maybe? Anyways this can almost always bring a smile or chuckle out of someone so we made a white outline around the patch against a black background with “PEN15” written in white centered at the top. Then with masterful craftsmanship from keyboard text made a ejaculating penis made out of an 8 with equal signs and a D. And then we put a smiley face underneath it, motherfuckers.

Does it get any better? Oh it does when you order this patch drunk/high/tripping/rolling/whatever the fuck at 11 at night cause your waiting for the bathroom line on your phone. That next day as long as you party on a business night like a normal heathen(and the next day is a business day). One of our factory workers will come in and see your drunken order and start making it so we can get it to you as soon as possible. So that means your not getting some moldy old patch that’s just been sitting on the shelf letting the glue on the back go bad and not seal properly when you iron it (if that’s the way you choose to apply it). Oh yeah on that; you can sew it as well or just simply safety pin it on. The options are only limited by your imagination here at Denim and Patches.

PEN15 - Embroidered patches DENIMandPATCHES

ONLY 1 PERCENTERS ALLOWED!!

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Are you just better than everyone else? Do you need to let everyone know that your better than them and that you make a lot of money without even saying a word? Then your messing up if you don’t have a 1% patch in your repertoire. How do the commoners walking down the street know to clear the path for your holy 1% feet if your not wearing a patch to differentiate yourself? With you elevated position in life you need a elevated level of patch as well; in order to do that for you we make each embroidered patch custom and made-to-order. Meaning we don’t have 100’s of these sitting on a shelf waiting for you to order it getting moldy and having rats shit on it till you order and then dust it off and throw it in a bag. No no when you order your patch the next business day one of our factory workers will come in and see your order and start making it that day so that we can get it to you as fast as possible.

The design is super simple put omnipotent with a black circle outline and “1%” written in black centered in the circle. Making people be able to see it and lay out the red carpet for you. Also when you or your assistant orders one of these patches you can feel extra good about your 1% self cause the only waste from your patch being made is the tiny bit of glue squeeze out on the back of the patch for the iron on application. But if you don’t wanna have it ironed on you can have your tailor sow it on so that it wont go anywhere on ya. Or there is the old school option of safety pining it on so that you can easily move it or store it if necessary. The options are endless at Denim and Patches so go check out the store and see what you can find!

1% - Embroidered patches DENIMandPATCHES